About the craziness that is Parker:

Who am I? Depends on the time of day.  Sometimes, I’m a gamer.  Sometimes, an avid Amazon Prime Video watcher (think Netflix addict but at Amazon).  Often, you’ll find me furiously planning out ideas for a wild hair I’ve grabbed… Most recently, it’s all been about redesigning my Tiny Home, Oliver’s Nest.  I must walk away from my original and partially built Tiny Home on a trailer base, as it isn’t nearly finished enough to handle my shortened time-frame.  Now Oliver’s Nest will snugly reside on the back of my beast of a truck, renamed the Beast.  So, my Tiny Home is going even tinier!  Instead of an interior space of 7’2″ by 19′, I’m working with 7’6″ by 14, and without a loft for extra room.  It’s ok though, as how much stuff does one person really need?

Part of this process has involved great losses.  Of course, I lost my mother ~ the main event which started all the other changes.  I had to sell my horse, Gaia.  I also sold my carefully and lovingly tended herd of rabbits.   I’ve put my mountainside land up for sale.  I’m selling most of my beloved books, music cds and games.   But the biggest loss was realizing I can’t finish Oliver’s Nest as originally envisioned.  That had caused lots of bouts of panic and downright fear of the future.

I was diagnosed years ago with Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety and BPD.  One of the reasons I created this blog is to show what it’s like to live with mental illness.  Most people are very uneasy around the mentally ill, and I hope to reduce that fear.  I’m crazy, but I’m not crazy, you know?

The new version of Oliver’s Nest is well on it’s way now.  Having made this much progress has been gratifying.  There’s still lots to do before it could be considered “livable”, but I can now sort of see that future day.  Thanks for being here with me on my journey! 🙂

Parker

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7 thoughts on “About the craziness that is Parker:

  1. I can relate to your wanting to learn how to build. I went through a similar stage in my life after leaving a very abusive man. I am new on this blog so I have no idea what started your need to build but mine was someone constantly methodically tearing me down to the point I had no where to go but to build myself back up again. He told me that my Art Studio should be a horse barn and that my home was not up to his standards. It gave me fuel to my fire to prove him wrong. I became a building nut and it was my life. My mission to rebuild what had been torn down by this man in my life. I had a 1972 Jeep Wagoneer and discovered that I could fit a whole sheet of plywood in the back and even carried a big heavy beam home on the roof of the car once. The man said if that was a newer model Jeep I would have been wearing it on my head. They built those older jeeps to do work and it did. I guess what I am trying to say is I applaud you learning about nails and wood and how to use the lever system to get your job done. I prayed like mad when I was doing my work and felt the presence of God in my life guiding me. I once had a sticker on the back of my truck that read. My boss is a Jewish Carpenter. When I had the truck repainted it had to go but if I ever find another I will put it back on because that pretty much sums up my life. Leaving the man with 150 million dollars to living in my old house and working on to prove him wrong about me was a rewarding goal. I am now stronger and more resilient. Thankfully this mean man lived in Colorado so I just moved back to my house in Arizona. I got a restraining order on him and never saw him again. My family became the people that worked at Home Depot or people that sold me things I needed on craigslist. I bought and sold and built until I was all back together again in my mind a better stronger Diane.
    I see this journey in you. Learning about nails and how to build. Building up your self confidence and courage and strength. Laughing along the way and enjoying the experience.
    I have had many times of starting over. I went to work for the elderly to heal my broken heart and bring some income from a small wage. They loved me and hired me to do all sorts of things for them. They were my family when my own Mom and Dad and sisters could not care about this foolish girl who left a multi millionaire. My own family treated me poorly and my children poorly until I finally just stopped inviting them to eat my home made cooking and began to invite people who could love me and be kind.
    Whenever something bothers me and makes me cry I focus my attention on something I can build or paint or refinish. I want to give my project a second chance to be remarkable just as I have been given a chance by God to pick up my life and be an encouragement to others who have been cut down and mowed over by criticism. I took the hand of the Jewish Carpenter and he guided me.
    I pray for your safety and your vision and if there is anything you need just ask me.
    Diane

    • Oh Diane, thank you for your kind and inspiring words. When the people around us are cruel, or disinterested, it hurts and can do a lot of damage to our sense of self and even our will to live a productive and pleasing life. So many people succumb to pain and sadness…finding something that fills our minds and hearts with hope is vital. It’s cool that you, like me, found that making things with your own two hands could pull you back to a worthwhile life. 🙂

      What you’re doing sounds amazing, and I appreciate your sharing your story with me. Thank you very very much for taking the time to write. Please, feel free to comment on whatever you like, as my blog really isn’t about “building a Tiny House”, it’s about having a productive and happy life. Meeting wonderful people is a lovely addition.
      Parker

  2. Oh Parker, I’m tearing up reading about how you’ve had to give up so much to hit the road…and that is even smaller than I imagined. I am concerned as to how you’ll maintain touch with all of your Twitch/Twitter/social media friends once you get rolling. The only thing I can send you right now though, is best wishes for safety, timeliness in getting the little place done, and a good time when you do hit the road.

    • Ah Sword, I’ll be ok….I’m a bit of a loner by nature anyway and spend most of my time alone. I do plan on finding wifi as often as possible though! I’ll miss you guys too much. Plus, now I can actually make one of those Denny’s dates we all talk about, lol. Please feel free to message me occasionally if you feel so inclined, I really do want to keep in touch.
      Parker

  3. I once read that since your feelings belong to you; nothing anyone says or does can influence them unless you yourself allows it to do so. In other words, if a word or deed makes you feel happy, sad, joyous, or angry it is because “you” allowed your mind to create how you want to respond to that particular word or deed. Perhaps it is because you are seeking refuge from something else. Often it is because you expected more or less from whomever spoke the words or did the deed. Sometimes you may be seeking something (i.e. pity, love, confrontation) selfishly for yourself. Think about that the next time your feelings begin to erupt an take control. Don’t allow the actions or words of others to elicit from you the response they may be seeking unless you want to conciously react in a certain way. As an example: When you begin to feel hurt when something is said to or about you, feel happy that someone is even thinking of you and put a great big smile on your face. That should really put a crimp in their motivation. Remember also as a book title once blared – “Your Opinion Of Me Is None Of My Business”. Live, love and try always to be happy.
    Sincerely, Ivanhoe
    yours for adventure

    • Ivanhoe you have just described the difference between Men and Women. Women are far more emotional than men. We also have a great need to connect on an emotional level. This need makes us vulnerable and we are not always tough enough to weather the storm. We need to process our feelings.
      Men…… give them food, a job with a paycheck and sex and they are happy.

  4. Pingback: Get Involved!  | Tiny Home ~ Grand Adventures

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